Every October we approach with anticipation a holiday that has been celebrated for a long, long time: in the United States, for example, it’s Halloween; in South America, it’s Día de los Muertos; in Italy, it’s Ognissante; in Ireland—where the tradition began—it’s Samhain. The gravity of the death of our loved ones and of our own eventual passing is relieved by celebrating with others. What we’ve been talking about for the last few months is something altogether different and much more personal than national celebrations, though these can serve as reminders. While we’ve explored methods like reading to the dead as ways of contacting our own departed loved ones, this month we will look at how we might hear from them.
It is unlikely that we will see them as an apparition in the physical world; however, if we focus our attention on a picture of them, we will put them in the front of our mind. If we create an inner picture by recalling a time we spent with them in as much detail as possible: the time of day, the room, the weather, the occasion, etc., we will create a sense of companionship.
We may also, however, get a nudge from them below our level of consciousness, even while we are awake. Steiner indicates that we can become aware of their presence only if our underlying state of mind is one that is filled with gratitude for all that life gives us—even the stuff we don’t like. Obviously, in our present state of almost continual distraction, it is very difficult to achieve a quiet state of mind that will allow us to have the sensitivity to communicate across the barrier between life and death. Yet, the path is open to each of us if we are willing to put in the work.
Let’s see what Dr. Steiner has to say:
We perceive unconsciously a far wider range of our environment than is possible consciously. It is quite true that if we are walking along a street and meet someone just coming around the corner, we may feel that we had seen the person just before they appeared. Quite often we may have a feeling of having seen something happen before it actually occurs. It is indeed a fact that first we have a psychic, spiritual connection with what we later perceive; only we are deafened, as it were, by the later sense perceptions and do not observe what goes on in the intimacies of soul life.
This is something that takes place of itself subconsciously, like the formation of a memory or the feeling of thankfulness toward all surrounding phenomena. The dead can speak to us only through the element that pervades the dreams that are interwoven with our life. The dead speak into these intimate, subconscious perceptions that occur on their own. And it is possible for us, given the right conditions, to share with the dead the same spiritual-psychic air.
If they wish to speak to us, it is necessary that we take into our consciousness something of the feeling of gratitude for all that reveals itself to us. If there is none of this feeling within us, if we are not able to thank the world for enabling us to live, for enriching our life continually with new impressions, if we cannot deepen our soul by often realizing that our entire life is a gift, then the dead will not find a common air with us, for they can speak with us only through this feeling of gratitude.
Otherwise, there is a wall between us and them.
… We cannot arouse in ourselves this feeling of gratitude if, having lost them, we wish them back in life; we should be thankful that we had them with us quite irrespective of the fact that we have them no longer. Thus, if we do not have this feeling of gratitude for the beings we wish to approach, they do not find us; or at least they cannot speak to us. The very feelings we so often have toward our nearest dead are a hindrance to their speaking to us… The better we can feel what they were to us during their life, the sooner it will be possible for them to speak to us—to speak to us through the common air of gratitude.
Excerpt from: Earthly Death and Cosmic Life, Lecture 6: Feeling of Unity and Sentiments of Gratitude: A Bridge to the Dead, by Rudolf Steiner, Berlin. March 19, 1918.
Steiner indicates that, at least initially, any communication from the dead is subtle, below our consciousness, so if we aren’t paying attention, we miss it. The most challenging aspect of communicating with the dead is the formidable task of preparing ourselves to do so. Nevertheless, it’s good to know that all our efforts toward reaching the spirit are beneficial to we ourselves and to the world. Living consciously in gratitude requires effort, but living this way is a worthy goal in itself whether we succeed in communicating with the dead or not.
We are always moving toward our future karma. Our connections with each other are how that karma plays out. Realizing that we ourselves survive death, just as those who’ve gone before us have survived it, helps us be less fearful of death. And that, too, affects every aspect of our lives.
The dead want to help guide us toward our healthy selves, to our healthy goals. They care about what happens to us. We can open ourselves to their guidance if we choose to do so.